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Starry night.
Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and grey,
Look out on a summers day, with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and daphodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land,
Now I understand, what you tried say to me,
And how you suffered for your sanity, and how you tried to set them free,
They would not listen, they did not know how,
Perhaps they'll listen now,
Starry starry night, flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violent haze, reflecting Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hues, morning fields of amber grey,
Weathered faces, lined in paint,
Are soothed beneathe the artist's loving hand,
Now I understand, what you tried to say to me,
And how you suffered for your sanity,
And how you tried to set them free ,
They would not listen, they did not know how,
Perhaps they'll listen now,
For they could not love you, but still your love was true,
And when no hope was left inside,
On that starry starry night, you took your life as lovers often do,
But I could've told you Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.
Like the strangers that you've met, the ragged man in ragged clothes,
A silver thorn, a bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow,
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
And how you suffered for your sanity,
And how you tried to set them free, they would not listen,
They're not listening still, perhaps they never will.
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice & suddenly Im falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means, What could it be, that comes over me?
At times I cant move,At times I can hardly breathe.
When you say you love me, The world goes still, so still inside
& When you say you love me, For a moment, theres no one else alive.
Youre the one Ive always thought of. I dont know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
Youre where I belong.
& when youre with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly,
For a moment in time, Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth,
& frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.
When you say you love me, The world goes still, so still inside
& When you say you love me, For a moment, theres no one else alive.
& this journey that were on, How far weve come and I celebrate every moment.
& when you say you love me, Thats all you have to say.
Ill always feel this way.
When you say you love me, The world goes still, so still inside
& When you say you love me, In that moment, I know why Im alive
When you say you love me,
When you say you love me,
Do you know how I love you?
Mi brother, and Me con mi bebe (first pic)
Mi brother and sister, and me in the arms of my baby (second pic)
I thought for quite a while last night, I don't know why I torture myself, there is no reason to. So afraid, but of what? Of losing. But how can I lose? How can I lose something thats lasted this long under these circumstances? I wont, I refuse to let go. So I let my worries go, until my heart burdens me again and sends to mind with them once again.
Six months, six months since you took me back. I love you baby, happy anniversary! <3
Mi amor, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can I give it all to you? You being there and I here? Can I give you enough, is this enough? Im by your side, but am I? I try to be, I want to be. My love is yours alone, but can I show you how much without proximity. I cant hold you, cant kiss you. How can I give you my love? All I have to offer are words, are words enough? If you should hurt, how can I comfort you? How can I make you feel alright, Im not there by your side? Words are all I have to give... How long can they keep you happy? How long will my words be enough. How long will I do? How could I have taken you for granted when I had you so close? Everyday is the same, I cant surprise you with a gift, or smuther you in kisses. I want to give you all that I have, but how? What would I do without you? Id never leave you, how can I leave you Im not there to begin with. How will I know that "I love you" will have a meaning forever in our lives or just become a routine. How long will this do?
Why do I worry? I know he loves me... My worse fear, is not having him one day... I have alot to lose, too much to lose.
*sigh, hehe <3>
Algo que hice, My work of art... Before and after...
I didnt get to say good nite. Cant sleep without saying nite and I love you... (u)(u)(w) :'( :( :s
nite bebe, te amo
Cambias de momento,
Como el clima, en poco tiempo
Tranquilo y sereno
Sin lluvias ni vientos.
Eres el sol que me ilumina
Las olas calmadas que brillan,
La brisa suave que acariciaSolo por ahora
hasta que vuelva la tormenta
Cambias de momento
Y aun asi te quiero
Frio como el hielo
Relampago violento
Eres la nuve que hace oscurecer
El silencio que me hace doler
Lluvia hasta el atardecer
Tristeza de mi ser
Cambias de momento
A veces eres tierno
Y a veces te siento lejos
No entiendo y te entiendo
Aun asi, te seguire queriendo
So, Im here once again, 12:30am.... Im really sleepy, but I feel like something is wrong.... Dont know, I really wish I did. I guess I dont know anything right now, just one thing, and I'll keep from writing it today only because it is written in this blog so many times that it gets rather boring if you arent me or this one other person. *sigh, que me pasa? Porque no puedo dormir? Porque pienso lo q pienso siempre tarde en la noche?...........
I am so hungry. I went to sleep really late, only ate one thing yesterday, ate 4 cookies today. I am starving. *fOoOoOd, DrOoOoOol! dont know what to eat. Tengo hambre! uy, que como!?
So I saw my baby yesterday. wow I missed him, I miss him. I love you bebe. hehe. Que rico verte ayer!! :-D Gracias por todo, :D :D :D :D :D :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TE AMO BEBE, TE ADORO! haha.
oh, puse fotos de nuevo. Podre unas con mi novio y yo juntos cuando las tenga. jeje ;)
bueno, ill write later. bai bai. ;)
Me and mi Brother! Mucho tiempo atras...
Mi Perrito Roger! 5 anitos este mez! QUE LINDO!
I have made an observation about my nature over the past few days, I didnt know how to describe it until now. Its been disturbing me since friday, I hate the way it makes me feel. This observation involves me in relation to the opposite gender:
a) There is only one man who Id love to spend the rest of my life with, one that Id love to come home to every night. Only one that makes my day complete. Without him, life would be empty.
b) Then there are tons of other men. Until very recently, i have been living in an environment where guys were all my age and I was used to them. But now I am placed with men of all ages, some developing interest in me, this quiet, shy girl sitting in the back of the class. I have noticed that older men come on strong, and arent afraid to flirt.
c) So here is my observation. I have noticed how hard it is not to flirt back. It makes me feel rotten to know that I do not know how to interact with the other gender in a way that does not imply interest, although I am not in the least bit interested in any of them. I can't help smiling, and doing whatever it is that I do that leads them on. I dont want to be a tease. I dont try to be. It just happens. I fear leading these men on, and getting hurt the way I did this summer. I dont know how else to be, and I am trying so hard to not be me. I have been described by many as adorable, interesting, and hundreds of other qualities that seem to appeal to men. If I happen to earn their attention by having these charms of qualities or whatever they may be, I dont want them.
Then there is the fact that my baby is in my mind 24/7, even as I speak to these strangers. I feel as if I am unfaithful, Id never do that to him. I adore him, he is a part of me. So what to do, how to ease my consciense? How do I change, how can I change after a lifetime of being me?....
Black diamond,
Among a field of crystal clear diamonds,
You hold them to you,
Like stars in the darkest midnight sky.
The rarest jewel,
The most valuable treasure,
Mine to keep,
My rare black diamond.
Black diamond,
Strongest of the gems,
Unbreakable, everlasting,
Steady, stubborn,
Precious gem with a heart,
Youre my black diamond
The rarest of souls,
The strongest of loves.
Mine to keep and love forever
i see you
Malvada
smile
Otra noche sin dormir. Fue el dia de san valentin mas bonito de mi vida. No pude estar con el, pero estuvimos en contacto todo el dia, me dijo las cosas mas bonitas. Bueno, manana tengo que ir de nuevo a la universidad. wow, que loca fui cuando escogi classes temprano en la manana 5 dias a la semana. Pero en fin, que se puede hacer ahora menos bregar con lo que hay.
Happy birthday Yadi!!! 22! I love you hermanita! mUAH
Me sorprende tanto, que la vida de repente me trate tan bien. He encontrado mi media mitad tan pronto. Tengo 17 anos y estoy enamorada. Lo amo tanto que puedo tener el peor dia de mi vida y todavia sonreir sabiendo que lo tengo a el. Me encanta poder contarselo todo, saber que el me ama a mi, puedo ser completamente libre con el. Me encanta que a pesar de que estamos a distancia lejana, nos amemos y nos apoyamos siempre. El es todo lo que he querido en esta vida. Un hombre confiable, honesto, amoroso, tierno, sensible. Me entiende y me escucha. Nunca me ha juzgado, ni rechazado, aunque yo alguna vez lo decepcione. Siempre estuvo a mi lado, apoyandome, dandome fuerzas. Nunca estuve sola, no me dejo sentir soledad. Solo quiero lo mejor para el, lo haria todo para que el sea feliz. Daria mi vida por el.
No hay manera de no ser cursi cuando se trata del amor. El amor es completamente cursi. Cuando uno se enamora de verdad, se le olvida el temor de amar. El temor de esa palabra tan corta pero tan poderosa a la misma vez. En el amor no hay mentiras, ni secretos. Uno tiene el verdadero amor cuando puede ser si mismo, puede contarle a su amado/a el pero secreto de su alma y no importaria. Un amor verdadero nunca se olvida, si se olvida, nunca fue real. Uno puede aprender a vivir sin alguien que ama y seguir con su vida, pero nunca puede olvidar o dejar de amar a esa persona.
Te adoro mi vida. Muah! Suerte a todos con el amor. ;)
P.D. FeLiZ DiA dE sAn VaLeNtIn. <3>
~*J-<3-z*~>
He's won me over, my heart and everything that I am. He hasnt taken my soul, he's become my soul; the cool that calms the burning pain, the ice that burns the winter past. I give my all to him, my everything. Every bittersweet tear I shed, each one that streams down my cheeks I give to him, diamonds from each emotion he sparks deep inside me. Each smile that lights my face I dedicate to him, like I'd like to give him the sun and the stars, just so he can never again see the darkness. I give to him my being, this body that is marked on every inch with his touch, his to do what he pleases with, to satisfy him, to caress and soothe him when he needs soothing, when he needs loving. I give him my voice, so I can share my words with him, my thoughts, my fears, my joys, to thank him and let him know how much I love him. I give to him my life, every day of every year until I die. I give him my love, the love that grows stronger with every second gone by, with every glance; the love that intensifies with every kiss, every touch, every moment that goes by and we're apart, as I remember our yesterday together. What would I give, to keep you from being lonely at night, from searching for me in the dark. What would I give to be there, by your side always, too look in your eyes always. Anything. Everything. Id give everything for you.
As he steals my breath,
My mind uneasy and unclear,
Incapable of understanding my motives,
Conflicting within myself,
Longing for it, and longing to end it.
Taken by the moment,
Taken by insanity,
Insecurity, instability,
my reallity, feels like bliss and fantasy.
No longer where I began,
In another world, another universe.
Eternal fire,
burning fierce and passionate within my soul,
Showing clear and bright in your eyes,
Bring me to life and cause my demise,
Lost in a dream for the rest of my life,
Lost in the world I made only for you,
Found in a maze,
Found in you.
