From Beauty to the Beast

Twas the day before New Years Eve and all thru the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a................... NOT! Today our beloved white fluffy k9 critter decided to get a doggy make over. Behold...
BEFORE

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AFTER

AFTER.

My gramps had dumped some ashes from the chimney in the backyard. (Our yard caught on fire that day lmao).

Roger scrubbed himself in the fire not once, BUT TWICE! and he is still gray! Tell me that isnt a scary picture! haha, houston we have a beast!

Relations between Bolivia and U.S........

After discovering some disturbing news, I decided I might take a look at what is going on in Bolivia.

LOS TIEMPOS- presa Boliviana


EEUU felicita a Morales por su virtual victoria

La Paz y Washington Agencias

El gobierno de Estados Unidos, mediante su legación diplomática en Bolivia, felicitó a Evo Morales "por su aparente victoria" en los comicios presidenciales del domingo y que le dan la mayoría de los escrutinios, según resultados extraoficiales. De igual manera, la Casa Blanca se pronuncia en el mismo sentido y felicita "al pueblo boliviano" por el desarrollo de "unas elecciones exitosas", dijo a EFE el portavoz del Consejo de Seguridad Nacional, Frederick Jones.
Mediante un comunicado y poco antes de felicitar a Morales, la Embajada norteamericana en Bolivia dijo que los resultados de las elecciones "todavía no han sido oficializados", pero destacó el compromiso del país con la democracia por haber realizado elecciones pacíficas.
"El gobierno de Estados Unidos ha tenido buenas relaciones con Bolivia en el pasado. Estamos preparados para trabajar en la consolidación de la misma relación con el próximo gobierno de Bolivia", señala la nota divulgada este lunes.
"La calidad de nuestra relación dependerá de las políticas del nuevo gobierno en una amplia gama de temas, siendo el más importante el firme respeto a las instituciones democráticas", añade el reporte que finaliza valorando al gobierno del presidente Eduardo Rodríguez.
Morales, quien aún ejerce el liderazgo de las seis federaciones del trópico de Cochabamba, mantiene diferencias con el gobierno de Estados Unidos, las que se han agravado recientemente por la vinculación del Jefe del MAS con el presidente Hugo Chávez de Venezuela.
Relación dependerá del respeto

La "calidad" de la relación del gobierno de Estados Unidos con el futuro ejecutivo de Bolivia "depende de su política en un amplio abanico de temas, como el respeto a las instituciones democráticas".
En declaraciones a EFE, la portavoz para temas de Latinoamérica del Departamento de Estado, Jan Edmonson, respondió así a la victoria del candidato presidencial socialista, Evo Morales.
Según Frederick Jones, portavoz del Consejo de Seguridad Nacional, EEUU seguirá "trabajando de manera constructiva con el nuevo gobierno boliviano, como hemos venido haciendo con gobiernos anteriores".
Edmonson recordó que EEUU "ha tenido buenas relaciones con Bolivia en el pasado y estamos preparados para trabajar para construir la misma relación con el próximo gobierno boliviano".
Aunque por el momento no haya datos definitivos, dijo la portavoz del Departamento de Estado, "felicitamos a Morales en su aparente victoria".
Edmonson congratuló a los bolivianos por la celebración de unas elecciones "pacíficas y por demostrar su compromiso con la democracia y el proceso constitucional".
Los bolivianos, agregó el portavoz, "acudieron a las urnas en un amplio número en una expresión de apoyo a la democracia".
La semana pasada, el Departamento de Estado de EEUU señaló que esperaba que el nuevo gobierno continuará con la política de combate a la producción y el tráfico de drogas.

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No need to panic... The shit hasn't hit the fan.... The new prez is leftist, and has socialist views, but he is no Fidel Castro, as we can gather up until now...

Tomorrow's another day

Love doesn't always hit like a tidal wave, it can take time?and reveal itself in subtler ways. Here, five couples explain the little signs that showed them it was the real thing.

Let's face it: As romantic as it may be, couples don't usually just go out on one date and ? poof! ? realize they're madly in love. A true connection can take time to reveal itself, and when it does, it's often in the smallest and most surprising ways. "We form opinions about people so quickly?about the clothes they wear, whether they're smiling too much or too little," says relationship expert Dr. Jo Anne White, Ph.D., from Temple University. "But when we do that we may be missing out on important aspects of that person. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper." If you're dating someone and are sick of waiting for a 50-foot sign saying "Yes, this one's The One!" try keeping an eye out for some of the tiny things that convinced these five couples they were meant for each other.

Look for someone who embraces your differencesA date who respects what makes you you ? especially when it veers from his or her own tastes ? is a true keeper, says White. Why? Because it shows your sweetie truly cares about your happiness, and is open to new viewpoints and experiences. This person's flexibility also means you two won't get embroiled in petty arguments about which movie to rent or where to go on vacation ? a major plus given long-term relationships involve tons of compromise. So if this describes your own date, hold on tight.

Re-evaluate your deal-breakersSometimes, we create our "ideal mate" checklists?but need to learn they're not carved in stone. Granted, no one should feel forced to lower his or her standards and settle for someone who's "good enough." However, taking a good look at those standards and making sure they're valid is a great idea?and sometimes all it takes is the right person to change your mind. According to Dr. White, typical red flags like previous marriages, kids, or career troubles (like unemployment) might actually be a plus if a person has learned something positive and grown from the experience. So if you've recently ruled out someone due to some perceived flaw, ask yourself: Does your date's lack of a college degree really outweigh the fact that he or she is kind, loving, and crazy about you?

True keepers stick around when the chips are down. Sure, any date will want to hang if you're in a great mood and can show them a good time, but will they appear when you're broke after a recent layoff, hobbling around on crutches, and have little to offer other than some low-key (and somewhat melancholy) company? If so, then this person is worth keeping around for all your ups and downs. "A good partner will never judge you when you're not doing well," says Dr. White. "And even better, they'll put their own needs on hold to help out when things get rough."

Take note how your date treats your pals. Of course most suitors will go out of their way to charm you, and your family too if they meet them... but your friends? Sorry, they usually fall into the category of things your date has to put up with, period. And that's exactly why partners who strive to connect with your buddies will stand out from the crowd. Dates who do this are genuinely trying to integrate themselves into your life as a whole, so if you spot your date making an effort to charm your cantankerous best bud, consider yourself one lucky dater.

That first family get-together may contain some surprisesIt's one thing for an amour to make a good impression on your folks. It's another if he or she goes above and beyond the call of duty (and that includes anything that involves cooking, baking, or making what you can buy). And while you might not always follow Mom's or Dad's advice regarding whom you date, their stamp of approval does matter, and can have ripple effects on how you view the relationship.

How long will it take to heal?I thought this was something I could deal with.Why can no one tell me what to do? I thought if anyone could understand it would be you.Somehow, though I know what you mean. Something feels wrong. And so I'll pray each night, When times without you seem so long.

You said so many things I understand, but also things I know for sure were wrong. Nothing from the past can change your mind, the fact that we got this far from far away. Nothing I say now can make you mine, you've heard my words but never listened.

And still I'll do anything you want. I wait for time to pass. I wait for you to know what you dont know now. For now Ill let you go....

Can someone tell me what I should do, to make this pain in me go away?

Hello Peoples :) By Mike's request, I inform you that his internet has been cut off by comcast for some confusing reason and that's why he hasnt posted in a while... ***I hope his internet is back soon cuz our phone reception has been evil*** LMAO. Well I sincerely hope you are enjoying your weekend. HAPPY DECEMBER! xoxo-

This was Zuli with your news bulletin of the day. -

Materialistic Values?

Why do some people feel that expensive brand name clothes is the only good kind out there? Ive met so many people here, and there are people in my family, who think price determines quality... Thats not always true I think tho... Almost all of my clothes comes from walmart, target, and small stores in PR. Its been that way all my life. This girl walked up to me and asked me why I dont wear Tommy, CK, Polo, or anything like that. She said Walmart clothes arent nice... What the hell does that mean? Does that mean I dress well? Wow... Well nothing else to write about. Im boring I know lol.

Cherrio.

Blurting things out.

No... I dont have a job. I was planning on getting one when I moved over there... Wow... But I know I always have to have a backup plan. So I guess I will get a job... Only problems with that... Is a huge lack of time for things I need to do. Such as: Do homework for 16 credits worth of classes next semester, still do my house chores, find time to spend with my loved ones, and have atleast a little bit of time for me. I will start off with just 3 days of work and when I get the hang of time management, I'll get 4 or 5... I hope to get an ok job. I have to save money for the cell and gas... Ill put money in savings. I hope to earn plenty. I have work experience, have never been fired, and have a diploma. What kinds of jobs that pay ok can I get with those qualifications? I mean waitressing doesnt cut it... Retail... not that great either. What else is out there for me????

Maybe I should just wait until I finish college to go. I mean next semester I will be a sophomore. It would take about 3 years. Id take interior design, graduate and get going. 3 years is a long time huh? Lots can happen in 3 years, thats what scares me. I would visit as often as I could though, Id visit my babez. It wouldnt be every month but Id spend time there. I dont know. Im scared. I sound like a baby dont I? I feel so imature. I mean Im here thinking that I can go back in 3 years and things will be the same as they would be now if I went. Im hoping for a miracle I guess. Blah. Must stop writing. I must admit though, that I am in a better mood today that the past week and Im trying to find alternatives to my problems. There's always a way I think. But anyway. Its 2:16am. I should really get to bed huh?

Goodnight. Sweet dreams :) xoxo...

Zuli signing out. ..(my mom says that on msn, i think its cute lol)... buh baiz <3

:'(

Whatever to the deceptions life bring us. I guess it will take longer to go back home. Back to VA. I got back from a dream vacation from my sister's house, and my mom goes and brings my world down again like always. Why do they say yes to me, why do they bring my hopes up, just to crush them again. Why did they agree to let me go if they were going to take it away. Mom and dad began their little campaign to make Yadi move back here. To a life of seclusion, bordom and restriction. That is the only thing that can come from living at home. Living with my parents who are afraid of the world afraid of everything. Of course they are right to be. They have seen lots happen in life, theyve seen lots happen to me. My sister is real nice and may get hurt by the not so nice people of the world.

They dont know she has a boyfriend as they know not about Mike. Imagine, she is nearly 23 and still afraid to let mom and dad know that she has a boyfriend. I dont like him much though. I mean he is a nice friend, very friendly... *redundant I know. But he has a history of losing girls. He is very sensitive and I feel that yadi has played with him alot. Not meaning to of course. Do you think that it is wrong to make a decision you arent sure about. I mean repeatedly, she has accepted him as her boyfriend and each time has dumped him. I think when you send mixed signals like that a man his age (26) is bound to get pissed off or rather offended. I dont trust him. Something about him doesnt feel right and I think he might hurt Yadi.

Well setting that aside from the subject... Mom and dad have been convincing yadi to move back here. She is buying into it. She is so damned weak minded. I warned her about this. I warned her and I told her. She might be thinking that life here will be great. But has she forgotten why she left? You know living with mom and dad is nice at a level. She will get tired of it and move out again and where will she go this time? Here in TN? They pay less here than in VA. Whatever
Not to mention all the talking about her grandma and grandpa will do. "Pero yo dije que Yadira se iba a mudar aca. Ella no se podia quedar alla sola."

She is buying into all that crap. Whatever then. Whatever. I told her not to think about me when she makes her decision. But damnit if she does decided to come over. I will resent mom and dad for it. Because they lied to me. They said I could and they took it away.

Not only are they taking away my dream. I want my career. I want to go to that college. The one that will give me the best career opportunities possible. I want to be independent. I want to learn things on my own. I want to take care of my sister. I want to get a good job. I want to be free. I want to be near my baby. I dont want to lose him. I panic at the thought of it. I want so many things I cant have here. I hate this place.

So there. My happiness has been stepped all over. Im miserable again. Being near my mom brings me down so much. She tells me all the time how I tell her everyday that she is a bad mom. How Im a bad daughter. Nothing but negative things. She makes me feel bad about myself. I feel suffocated trapped here. I feel restricted. Mom and dad dont want us to leave until we get married. How the hell is that supposed to happen? I am not even allowed to date! I mean I know its still very early, but even my sister is afraid to tell em she has a boyfriend. So that does it. Being here depresses me. What do I do? What should I do. I wish I had someone to tell me what I should do to make things better. To help myself get away without killing dad or driving mom even crazier than she is. How do I leave?

About Me

Quizes at http://www.memegen.net ...

How you really say "I love you." by lenatheraven
Name: Zuli
believe in true love?: yes
Your hands say: With me, you'll never be lost.
Your eyes say: You're amazing.
Your hugs say: This is where you are meant to be.
Your kisses say: I almost can't believe you love me.
Your body says:I want to wake up beside you.
Your heart says: Te amo.


What makes you attractive? by Eurudite
Name: Zuli
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Your Eyes:: 41%
Your Smile:: 57%
Your Body:: 3%
Your Wit:: 8%
Your Charm:: 98%
Your Personality:: 51%
What first attracts them: You are very compassionate.
Why they stay: You are loyal to a fault.
What pushes them away: You are afraid of being too close...


What do people really think about you? by Raven319
Name: Zuli
Age:18
favorite song: Kiss From a rose
Parents think: You work too hard
Strangers think: You have bigger boobs than Pam
Friends think: You're wonderful


Does He/She Really Love You? by selfreflection
Your name: Zuli
His/Her name: Mike
Your answer...Yes, y'all are a match made in heaven.


Ur love makes a guy... by flop
Your Name...Zuli
Your Kiss...makes guys hard
Your Eyes...makes guys wanna keep on lookin
Your Boobs...Makes guys wanna turn their head
Your Ass...Makes guys wanna see ya move it slow motion
Your Laugh...is sweet and makes guys laugh with u


Theme songs of your life by eponine
your name? Zuli
love song: brown eyed girl - van morrison
depressing song: colorblind - counting crows
party song: boys of summer - the ataris
what-the-hell-ever song: the wreckoning - boomkat
your life: let's just get naked - joan osborne

Just felt like writing about little things.

School is almost out for me, Im hoping to get good grades... I really dont know how Im doing this semester but Im praying for good. I actually went to class today, we had a nice discussion and before I knew it, class was out. Im half way home, and I notice that I dont have the garage door opener or my key... hence I was locked out. So I decide to visit my dad at work, Ive never driven to dad's work place before. It was nice, I met his friends... One who jokes about being in wrecks, and another who likes to sneak up on dad and scare him, who happened to be wearing the exact same outfit as my dad. And it was totally accidental. LOL. So Daddy took me out to lunch, along with his twin hehe. We ate some subs at.. hmm, I forgot the name of the place. But yeah they were good. His friend has a good sense of humor, and I tried to be less stiff, but I find it hard to be loose and cool with strangers. I was all quiet and felt like clinging on to dad. I guess thats a sign of immaturity? I dont open up well to strangers like I used to. I mean when I met Mike I was all hyper and talkative. Im not like that anymore. Boy have I changed. Anyway, Im waitin for your call babez, then you go off to work and I fry my brain with homework. LOL. Gonna get started now, buh bai, and happy monday! :)

Site under construction.

comments not currently working. I need to learn to add comments, Ill fix it later today. Hope you like the template.

Good night world.

A Cold in The Warm Fall

It never fails hehe, how when november hits, I get sick for two or three weeks. Blah, I have drowned myself in medicine, and Im hoping to beat my time record with only one week of illness lol. Im not up for being all icky and sniffley. But anyway. I am trying to catch up on some school work today. I am taking an early childhood education course and i wasnt really into it. Meaning, Ive done nothing there since august. Thank heavens that the teach does not assign many things. All I have to do is visit some day care places and write about em. Not bad, I just feel shy tho... I dont even know why.

On other notes, things at home have been rather neat and calm. Mom has been on vacation. Ive cooked everyday for my dad and brother, (as opposed to 3 times when mommy is here, she doesnt eat what everyone else does). I've cleaned, Ive rested. Its all goood.

I miss my mom tho, even the she is a spoiled rotten brat. She is like a baby, I feel like Im raising her. She is adorable and funny, and you cant help but love her and miss her craziness ;) hehe.

Well since Im moving, my sister has made some connections for me, and I am being offered jobs at some jewelry stores. One at pentagon city and the other in springfield. I'll take pentagon, :) I like that mall better. But Im so happy, cuz my salary will be better than Ive ever had it. above $6 and hour, finally! Cheap ass springfield. Anyway, Im happy bout that. :D I thought it would be harder.

So now I need some grub lol. Very hungry.... buh bai

Growing Together

Off we went,
And on we go,
Time wisely spent,
Gone fast and slow.

Together bloom,
Seek and discover,
My handsome groom,
A perfect lover.

A ghost of me,
There floats beside you,
A vow, a creed,
I can't undo.

What lurks behind,
we told each other
Our future intertwined.
One day should the sky fall down,
We'll be strong together.

To set you free would be a waste,
For I could never find another,
Who'd love me the same way,
For me my love, there is no other.

lil Joe's Lair, One year anniversary.

Nov. 3rd 2004.

When I made this blog, I didnt know what kind of things Id write in it or if Id even keep writing in it for this long... Ive grown sentimentally attached to this blog lol. Well anyway... Just writing to recognize my blog's birthday hehe. TtYl...

so tiwed 

he looks so cute 

wolf in disguise 

the 2 I carved 

lickin his lips  

jorge lighing his... 

dad lightin the second pumpkin i carved 

brother carving like mad 

The three pumkins we carved,  

Dog and two men, eating outdoors with me on halloween 

This is the whole outfit 

I dont know exactly what I was 

Im thinking right now about my mistakes and accomplishments. I notice how the bad things always seem to stand out over the good things. Ive made 2 MAJOR mistakes in 17 years, by breaking the trust my parents had for me. I did learn so much from those mistakes and my past actions have made me a better person. The scars left in me by my mistakes remind me what I need to do differently than a year ago. I will not let anyone take advantage of me ever again, or believe in people blindly.

I feel like I will be a successful adult, not only in my career, but at home. I graduated high school 6 months before time, and got into college before my class. I was so proud. By the end of this year, I should have 18 official credits from college, a few of which will transfer to my next college (although I should have 22 in total). I have regained my parents's trust in me, and am ready to go out and become independent step by step. I cant believe I will start paying rent, grocery shopping, bills, work... Handling so many things I didnt have confidence that I could do.

But I find myself inspired and motivated to do well. To start studying towards my career, now at 18. I want to make my family proud, I want to make my babez proud, and be worthy of him, I want to make my friends proud, and I want to be proud of myself and fulfill my dreams. I have so much going for me, and suddenly I feel strong and ready to take on so many challenges and learn about life, about my career, about myself.

I wont let my fears get in my way, because being afraid only keeps you from going out there and taking advantage of opportunity. In VA, the memory of my mistakes dwells. I cant help but think that I could bump into people that have hurt me in the past, but I have turned a blank page of my life. I am not who I was anymore, and they cant hurt me again.


Well, those are my thoughts. write later :)

New stuffs

What a great month... Well after a 10 day period of sisterly bonding and vacationing with my babez, I am back in Tennessee, but no longer with a frown and tears. Im counting my days until January, thats right 2006. I had told myself when I was 16 that I would move out by age 18 and I thought it wasnt going to happen, but suddenly everything is going well *I hope it stays that way*.

Things done:
Mini golf
Kings Dominion Fearfest
Tyler's Bday
2 movies
sleep over
chick flicks
cooking
cleaning
sleeping
HW
Lots of driving to get babez :P completely worth it
um... blank in the brain.. lol

I left my sister sadly, and surprisingly, she weeped like hell and became all unglued upon my departure. So I told my dad about the college I want to go to, and like a mini-lawyer justified my reasons for wanting to go; which were...

"Daddy, there is a campus in Atlanta, but a girl my age and height alone, in a city like Atlanta, well... thats just like condemning me to a dangerous place all alone ;) I dont want to be alone, this school has all I need for my major, its what I want to do. Yadi can stay with me, and I can keep my VA license and lease the apartment with her so it shows I have residence, to have in-state tuition. GMU was shown to be 17th best in a list of US law schools so yadi can study there and I can take care of her." Surprisingly, he understood and by the end of the night, it was agreed. I will be leaving in January to live with my sister.

Im going back home. I am scared to leave my parents. I feel sort of bad, but I have to leave someday. I cant live suffocated like this anymore. I will just miss them so terribley. I love them both so much, and yes I complain alot but they are my parents. My dad gives me the "ur my baby girl" look again. My mom looks like she is trying to hide her worries and sadness. She will be lonely I know. But we barely spend any time together when I am at home. I wish I could have been her friend. I know they are sacrificing a lot for me. Im scared. I mean, I dont want to miss spending the holidays with them, their birthdays, anniversaries, nice moments. I want to have my puppy with me. I dont want to miss a thing. But I know I have to make my future, I want to make them proud and show them I could do things on my own.

I want to show them they can trust me to concentrate on priorities and get what I have to do done. That I have learned from my mistakes. I will miss the room they gave me, this house they got thinking about us. I feel so bad because now it will just be them and my brother. I will be back a lot tho, because this is my home. This is where my viejos are.

I am so excited though, because I get to be myself, and do things independently. :D Well, gotta go. Homework. Muahz! buh bai.

To Be Continued.............

I wish I could make it go away.

I wish I could make it all go away,
All that's hurtful,
Things that makes so many hearts break.

If I could make the pain stop coming,
No ones soul would ever shatter,
Or feel the agony of hearts tearing.

Why are we born so weak, so fragile?
Why do we seek, and take such chances?
Why do we climb so high to fall again down hill?

I wish I could make it go away,
Protect us all from sadness,
But I know I'll never see that day,
We'll hurt and laugh until we're lifeless.

short summary

I MISS MY BABEZ!
YOU DESPERATELY NEED A CAR, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY A LICENSE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
/ \
.* *.
^

The five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom

"ALL PARENTS DAMAGE their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair."

"PARENTS RARELY LET go of their children, so children let go of them. They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them-a mother's approval, a father's nod-are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the waters of their lives."

"PEOPLE SAY THEY "find" love, as if it were an object hidden by a rock. But love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find then is a certain love."

"LOVE, LIKE RAIN, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive."

"Lost love is still love, it takes a different form, thats all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. "Life has to end, love doesn't."

These are parts of a novel by Mitch Albom, "the five people you meet in heaven" It is an outstanding book, and I highly recomend it. He also wrote, "Tuesdays with Morrie, another great book.

NEWS AND SMILES

http://cnn.netscape.cnn.com/news/story.jsp?floc=ne-health-11-l1&flok=FF-APO-1333&idq=/ff/story/0001%2F20051006%2F1835030580.htm&sc=1333

A vaccine for cervical cancer 100% effective? HOLY COW hehehe, good news for da women!

Apart from the news, just wanted to say................................... ................................................ ....

7 DAYS UNTIL MY TRIP TO VIRGINIA.

Mom informs me on the pleasures and pains of Prego-ness

I've done alot to this blog today. It is so obvious I don't have a life, no? lol. Well, since babez is napping, I've decided to write a little bit more, about my day. Other than the fact that my mom has hired me as the maid and won't stop calling me so I can do everything she is always *so she says* too tired to do...

I cleaned the kitchen while she sat at the table and out of nowhere she started talking about pregnancies and stuff; and I found myself rather intrigued seeing as thought someday, I will have babies too. I listened and listened, still not knowing how the subject arose and boy oh boy, I hope I have a graceful prego-ness lol *I just made that word up. She says to me, "some women glow when they're having babies. Their skin is clear and radiant and they seem to sort of sparkle when they smile and such." And I was happy to hear that, because I pictured me in that situation. She adds to that, "most people don't like to say no to a woman who's pregnant so you can get away with almost anything. It is such a beautiful experience, knowing that there is a little being inside you and you will be the first person he/she meets. You love the baby from the moment you know you're going to have it and you cant wait to see what "JR" looks like." In short, she talked about how excited she was when she was having us * her loveable little babies *.

BUT THEN...... lmao, she shoots me off of that brilliant and fluffy little dream cloud she had set me on a few minutes ago. "Nothing is ever THAT perfect though," she says with a wicked smile. "Some women get hemorroids," *THE HORROR!* "...some break out with pimples," *wide eyed look on my face by now, "...our feet get bigger, we gain weight, our noses get bigger too!" *At this point I was like *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*

Now despite the horrors or prego-ness lol, I find myself still dreaming of having children someday lol, and picturing myself smiling, regardless the effects it has on my being lol. Wow, lol. I wonder if there are more crazy things that happen to women when they are prego... Is it as bad as mom made it seem? Hmmmmm... who knows... anyway lol, its late. I'll write later, *lol and i dont mean by today.

Mind closed- Bai baiz and good night peepz!

*Page Was Under Construction*

Ok so the site was experiencing some technical difficulties. it is not exactly how I wanted it to be but, I GOT SNOOPY IN HERE!!!!! :D Anyway, Behold the finished product. lol Im outiez! ;)

Creative spark of the moment.

Hello youz! I hope you like my new template, I was searching through the blogskins site and I saw that so many people had the same template I did so... naturally I had to change it. This is the first time I do this with no help :o Isnt that amazing?! Just kidding. Anyway... Ive finally lost hope of finding the bama who rear ended me and left :( I dont think I will ever find him, but I wont stop keeping an eye out. Now that I got hit, Ive stopped believing that nothing could happen to me just because I drive well... But I still love to drive. ***Zuli is having seperation anxiety from her little car lol*** Well Im training my brother to drive on his own, he has alot of confidence in his skills, but not in his judgement and he is right. He is still rather stiff and cant measure distances with his eyes. But he'll get it soon. I never thought Id get to teach my little brother something important like that, but my parents arent doing it so I will take over for them like always. My mom gave him her old car and wants a focus too.. :S copy cat, and she wants in newer than mine! no mommy no! You dont even drive. Well anywhoo. I cant wait to go to VA next week! Spend time with the sis, and the babez, and go with him to Tyler's birthday :) ~*Hehe last time I saw him, he made friends with a french fry and then bit into it, LOL, I thought that was so cute! hehe*~ But yeah, Im counting the days (9 left lol)* So happy! Well gotta go, Jo is callin me {Jo mama-mom's nick name}. Talk to ya later! MUAHz!

True Emotion.

{Ok, I know this poem is dramatic... It's the way I feel about girls who don't respect relationships. I know the situation is out of my control, so I can't really do away with these stupid &*$#!%es... But, poems are just interpretations of what's inside....}

I see him clearly in my dreams,

The sun in his eyes rises.

Day after day my spirit screams,

Each day I wake to crisis.

The one who means the world to me,

To others is a trophy,

He's wanted by superficial weeds,

Whose thorns so distant make me bleed.

I pace alone with many others,

He walks acompanied by strangers,

I race through memories of us together,

He runs through thoughts of us forever.

Our eyes reflect our loving

Our hearts beat in harmony,

I know they want to take him,

Those thoughts are pain, my agony.

I wish that I could tell them,

I wish that they could hear my plea,

If I could I would beg them,

To leave my soulmate be.

I want them to stop piercing me,

Stop slitting through my patience,

Those weeds will start respecting me,

Or they will feel my vengeance.

I'm tired of being put aside,

Not taken into consideration,

For all those times they've made me cry,

They'll feel obliteration.

Monday

So tired. YAWN. Today was ok... I had to drive my dads car to school (Dodge Durango). I love his car, it drives so smooth. Anyway. I got soaked going into school and back to my car. Get whistled at by these two *** *****... ~completely ignored them~ Got home and my mom made me go back out. Went to get my contacts so I wont be blind. Left her at the surgeons office. When I went back, I was deeply disappointed. She wants lypo on almost all her body. $10,000 so she can go and get like she is now again. She loves sweets and wont give them up. She is so f***ing lazy and wont diet or exercise but lays on her bed all day and eats candy. What the hell? I think being near her makes me disappointed. Looking at her and what she does is a reminder to me of her depression and her lack of consideration for those around her. We cant afford to do half the things she wants to do and we are always in debt because she does them anyway. She has no will, or self esteem. Damnit if u feel ugly and fat, get the hell of ur ass and do something about it. A person who takes the easy way out of everything is not admirable at all in my eyes. Sometimes the easy way out helps, but she always looks for it. Mom, you irritate me so......... Anyway, I have alot of HW, babez is not calling yet ***YOURE PLAYIN THE GAME I SENT RIGHT?! I BET YOU ARE! IF YOU HAVE HW YOU BETTER DO IT OR ILL COME AFTER YOU LMAO ;) I LOVE YOU*** anyway bai peeps ;)

WOW

What a day its been... :( So last year I get my first car.... A beautiful silver 2003 ford focus SE... I want to keep this car as long as I can and in great condition. I love my car. This morning started off so badly... I woke up late (on the up side I talked to my babez a while before he got to school), and grabbed a coke from the fridge... Got my books and headed out. I got to the exit of my neighborhood, a T intersection. I stopped and put my signal.I had enough room to move and so I did. Next thing I know, there is a crappy white car speeding 20 or 30 miles over the damn speed limit, trying to stop his car because he was going to hit me. The ass hole couldnt stop! So he rear ends me, breaks my bumper and scrunches up my trunk. I pull into a drive way and he stops in the middle of the road. MY GOD! I freaked out so bad! I couldnt breathe, I couldnt talk, I started crying like a mad woman, and I tried to call home but I kept dialing the wrong number. I have never been so scared in my life. I thought " OMG I hope this person is ok! OMG, please dont be dead or hurt. MY CAR! AY, what the hell happened?!" So I waited for the person to get off the car to sort things out. But the bastard took off, with a messed up hood in the shape of a /\ ... I called my parents frantically, I couldnt get the license plate, it was foggy, and I had too many tears in my eyes. So we called the cops and they are going to try and catch the SOB, and I hope they do!!!! Im really angry and I missed another day of class! Blah, so I am upset and I cant seem to rest or relax, not to mention my back is a little sore. Well, I need to do my homework now. later......................................................................

Hey peeps

So I have alot of things to do, but I dont know exactly where to start. I have homework for sunday, and Tuesday... After this month I get to go to VA for a week. When I get back I will get a job. Hopefully mi babez will have a job too. Im going to start on my bio homework now, since i cant sleep. Im hopin babez will call me. But he's real tired I know it... I just got off http://www.careerbuider.com . That web site is awesome. I can find good jobs on there, that atleast allow for a salary of $30-$60,000 a year. Not bad I think. Then maybe I can pay my own tuition, and help mom and dad out. Buy plane tickets, clothes, gas, pay the cell bill... Perhaps go to school out of state, wherever I wanna go, although I know that Ill be on a real tight budget. Anywhoo.... I am really noticing what the adult life is like now. I mean, I dont know how it feels to have to pay rent, utilities, insurance, school, and all that stuff, but I dont feel so afraid of doing all those things. It wont be so hard if I do things the right way as of now. Get a job, keep $$$ in the savings acct., finish college, and pay bills and such. I cant wait to be able to say "I did that on my own." "I can take care of myself, and I dont need anyone to keep me afloat." In a few years, finish college and live a little. Get married, have the kidz, and take care of them and the husband. Wow I make it seem so easy when I say it like this. Nothing is ever easy though. I see the way dad and mom break their backs for us. Well, anyway... Brain just went blank lmao. Write later. Much love all. take care.

101 things no one knows about me.

1-I cried myself to sleep on my 13th birthday, I heard my mom say so many painful things about me behind my back.
2-In first grade the girls in my class didnt like me because i didnt have long hair .
3-Also because I was so short.
4-When I was in 3rd grade, I got a virus so bad I was seeing things that werent there.
5-I used to cry when I didnt do my homework in 5th grade, so the teach wouldnt call my mom.
6-My dad's father never loved me, because Im not white.
7-The first time I ever washed dishes, I cut my finger real deep I still have the scar (6 years old).
8-In pre-K thru 8th grade, I preferred playin freeze tag with the boys than cheering for them.
9-I stole a pack of crayons from the store when I was 8, and I thought I was a full flegded criminal.
10-I've always hated wearing shorts, but I still wear em.
11-I was angry at my sister for a long time, because she never paid any attention to me.
12-I've always wanted to run away from home,
13-But I've been to afraid of being beat when my parents find me.
14-My first poem ever was dedicated to my best friend.
15-He never read it.
16-Once, my gramps was drunk and lay down on top of me.
17-I was afraid to be alone with him after that.
18-I didnt know if that was a bad thing or not.
19-I dont know why he did that, or his intentions, I dont think he would hurt me like that ever though.
20-Im not scared of him anymore.
21-I dont feel comfortable unless Im different in some way.
22-I used to be a social butterfly.
23-Now Im more reserved to myself and only those I trust.
24-My brother hurts my feelings almost everyday.
25-he thinks Im a cold, heartless bitch, so he doesnt stop saying things.
26-I didnt notice that my sister was one of my best friends until she moved out.
27-Sometimes I miss her so much it makes me cry.
28-Im jealous of her best friend.
29-I believe I was meant to be the older sister
30-My sister does some things that make me wonder if she even thinks sometimes.
31-A boy in 8th grade hurt my feelings so bad, I cried all day in the bathroom.
32-I dont remember what he said to me, I just remember his facial expression.
33-Everyday I take I75 to get home.
34-I always think of leaving this place when Im on that road, Id end up back in VA.
35-I am very vengeful and hold grudges only to people who have hurt me in ways that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
36-I didnt press charges against the one person who hurt me the most, because I was ashamed of retelling the story infront of a judge and a jury.
37-That person made me feel so terrible, that I wished that I could die one night, to be rid of the pain.
38-Sometimes I feel like less of a person because of my mistakes.
39-I am afraid of being alone.
40-I would never let any girl take advantage of my little brother.
41-He thinks I dont love him.
42-Im not so good at showing him affection.
43-I hate when people have problems and instead of solving them or trying to, they sulk and let it devour them.
44-Ive never been beat in a fight at school.
45-Ive been beat by my mom though, a long time ago.
46-I swore that if my parents ever laid a finger on me again Id leave the house.
47-Ive only been truly angry at my baby once.
48-It was because he asked me out in November, and I asked him to wait for me a while, but in December he asked someone else.
49-My parents think Im a flirt by nature
50-My mom forced me to promise not to fall in love until I graduate college.
51-She thinks that if I do, I wont finish.
52-I think that mom and dad are too busy anticipating what Ill do in the future that they are missing out on my present.
53-Ive known what I want since I was a little girl.
54-I got out of touch with all my old friends.
55-Now I miss them so much
56-But I call them
57-And it seems like there is nothing to talk about
58-They forgot about me.
59-I dont know whether to despise my ex-boyfriend for making a fool of me
60-Or appreciate the lessons my experience with him has given me.
61-I hope he and Carolina are very happy.
62-They belong together.
63-I think I seem like a depressing person
64-But even though I cry alot, and some things dont turn out the way I want them to, I have all I need and I know Im lucky
65-Im happy
66-I have an affair with mint.
67-its my comfort food
68-I wish the world didnt revolve around money
69-I dont believe in any kind of war.
70-I dont find forgiveness hard to do.
71-My pet peeve is incorrect grammar.
72-Im a perfectionist
73-Although I know nothing is perfect
74-I dont want to live past 92
75-Im weak to losing people important to me, who isnt?
76-This list is exhausting me
77-When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mermaid.
78-I dont like sitting in the front seat of the car.
79-I dont like being driven around.
80-I love to drive
81-When I drive, i feel free
82-It's like a temporary escape from home
83-I prefer driving alone, or with my babez
84-I wish he had his license
85-That way when I go in october he could have gone to pick me up
86-I despise bad breath
87-I love riding trains
88-The first train I ever rode was in VA, in the year 2001
89-I like helping others
90-my mom had a cat I was afraid of
91-I dont like cats at all because of that cat
92-I love candles and flashlights
93-I love the spanish language
94-But I have few people to speak it with
95-I was teaching my friends in VA to speak spanish
96-I think Id be a great teacher
97-But that is not the career I want to pursue
98-I have a childish love of teddy bears
99-I am not the kind of person to keep a garden successfully
100-I was a very superficial girl in 9-10th grade
101-Im not afraid of growing old

She was quite happy at the end of the day, she said "this is one of the best birthdays Ive ever had. I felt so loved :)" 

Sometimes mom doesnt realize how strong she is. She stabbed the plate with a spoon haha 

We sang her HAPPY BIRTHDAY, *i sang so bad cuz my voice is not working* , she blew out the candles, and ate cake 

We got some sox too so her shoes match 

When dad got home we gave her the present we got her. She loved em.  

Later on I made her some macaroni and meat sauce, and went to check the mail. On my way in, I Pick a flower for her and made a little vase for her with an aquafina bottle. 

So we took him out in a container. lol 

So Im sick and Im tryin to find something to comfort me. Before goin to pick jorge up from Raiders practice, I brushed my teeth (I like brushing my teeth), rinsed, and washed my face. When I went to dry my face, I noticed something was looking at me in my sink! This little frog must have come in my bathroom thru the drain! OMG, I was very startled indeed, although it was cute... 

When we first moved here, Churi was cuttin the grass and took a break. Little did he know he'd become a snake charmer upon resuming work lol. Can you find the snake? 

sleepy and writing

Well, its almost 2 am and I'm addicted to modifying my blog template... I dont know much about doing that, but I try ;) I am sleepy all of a sudden, but my cold is keepin me up. I have a craving for chocolate chip cookies with milk, but it will have to wait til later on today. I wish I could have gone to the wedding with him. It would have been nice, I love weddings. BLAH, I hate missing out on special moments. Its mom's birthday, she is 50. Wow half a century already! just kidding. Although she is sick and what-not, she doesnt look that old. Her hair is greying, but thats it... no wrinkles or shrinkage (she's been short all her life lol, like me) I went with Churi to buy her presents. The ideas were mine, but churi spent tha $$$$. I no longer get a check every month, he does. So im broke. I feel bad about that, but anyway, I hope she likes the stuff. Im going to spoil her, even though I dont like spending much time with her, I'll make an effort today. Thats terrible. When you dont like being around your own mother. But everytime Im near her, I get insulted, or I become a slave for her and do everything she is supposed to do (as mom and wife). I mean I dont mind helping out, but **you give er an inch, and she walks all over u** I find myself cooking for her and dad and churi, cleaning her room and the house... it takes all day and I have homework to do and well, I need to spend time with my baby. I wish I could tell her about him too. I wish I could be mom's friend. I love her, but I cant share anything, or confide in her because she judges me and takes over my life, tries to make my decisions for me.

She is also a gr8 person though. I mean, she is funny, and helpful when she wants to be. She spoils me, gets me treats and presents. She worries about me, and it shows that she hurts when I do. She is a gr8 shopping buddy, *she adores shopping. We can watch TV together and enjoy it. She is always on my side against dad when he is stubborn and mean. Dad wouldnt have ever learned to apologize to me if it wasnt for her. She considers me her clone, because Im just as spoiled, clever and persistent as she is. It pains me when she cries, and I cant smile if we fight hehe. She is a great mother, even though she doesnt think so, but thats part of her illness. She would be a gr8 friend too if she quit trying to govern my life. She loves affection, and is very affectionate.

When she was a little girl, her mom was very cold toward her and loving to her brother. My gramps always wanted a girl, but my grams's first kid was a boy and he wasnt so enthusiastic about it. My grandma was thrilled with her baby boy and was hurt by my grandpa's attitude. But when my mom was born, gramps was glowing and even danced with the nurse. My grams thought my mom was ugly, but my gramps thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He even told grams that if his baby girl ever died, he'd leave her. I guess that made her jealous of mom and she never really paid any attention to mom, she never hugged her or said "I love you". When I was little grandma treated me the same, I reminded her so much of mom. I thought she didnt like me. Needless to say, my mom has a thirst for love and affection, and is very sweet most of the time, when her illness isnt gettin the best of her. Well anyway. I love you mommy, Happy birthdae! <3

Nite pplz.

my dia

Wow, I forgot how good it feels to be out of the house for once. I spent everyday in my house from May to August, it was like house arrest. All I ever did was go shopping with my extremely shop-aholic mom (BORING). So I went to breakfast with some friends, lol, in the cafeteria. Ate a jolly rancher that was given to me lol, while everyone else ate crescents with coffee. Im not much of a breakfast person. The butterfly we were "operating" on in lab ended up chasing me around the room, lol, long story. So I got home, went for a nice drive all by myself to relax, and am now watching american wedding. uh oh, babez is on line. write later :)

Dad...

I remember you were superman,
The strongest man on earth,
We walked together hand in hand,
You showed me all I'm worth.

You gave me all I wanted dad,
from crayons to power wheels,
You craddled me when I was sad,
And wiped away my tears.

I always got a smile from you,
Even when you were angry,
You said nothing I could ever do,
Will change how much you love me.

I see youre getting older,
More tired every night,
I know I could be better,
But Im trying so hard pa...
...to stop so many fights.

I still admire you daddy,
You'll always be my hero,
I wonder what you think of me,
Now that I'm not so little.