True Brunette

I feel like me again... I've been told I look younger than I looked when I was blonde, and thats just how I want to look... my age. ;)

my point being?

I sat in the hallway waiting for class to start, for about 19 minutes. I looked out the window, for a while, today was the kind of day I would have preferred to stay home in. It was real dark and gloomy, the wind blowing so strong that the lamp posts swung from side to side. The sky appeared to move. And all I could think at the moment was: "Id hate to be a tree right now, it looks like the wind wants to tear 'em off by the roots."

diz be me rambling.... peace.

<3Happy anniversary babez<3

<3 my favorite pix of us. <3 I love you. :P

First time in a while im my old positive self

If life were easy...
Our achievements wouldnt be something to be proud of.
Mistakes wouldnt exist, we'd never learn, strengthen, or grow.
Nothing bad would ever happen...
Its nice to think of that, but, without the bad times, we wouldnt appreciate the good times. We'd take good things for granted.
Its easier to remember the bad times than the good.
When it seems like nothing works out, when it seems like its raining and wont stop...try ur hardest to remember the good times, and that soon there will be more.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder...
I miss you terribley, and I get sad at times,
but Ill be with you soon. Even though Ive tried many times this month and Ive failed... there will be other opportunities, other times I can be with you. And for the first time, I feel I have patience. Love you baby ;) (K) (L)

Heartbroken ~

My family knows me to be this incredibley strong and determined person. They rarely see my shed a tear, they never see me down. They see a young woman who puts her anger and will to good use. A person determined to prove those who think she can't- wrong. As the years pass, my determination to succeed grows, but my strength... it diminishes. As I listen to the thunder, and the rain tapping on my window, I do my best to keep myself from falling. But I find myself heartbroken, a little more everyday. They say life is about sacrifices, that life moves on even when things are happening that you wish werent. That if your strong and you really want to, you can do anything you want.
So why am I so down today? I was going to be with you. Was... I got the yes of my dad, and the yes of my mom. I have the money at my disposal. And again time gets in the way. I found myself thinking: It seems like destiny has a way of screwing everything up for me. And then I remembered that I dont believe in destiny, but that I control my destiny. Classes start the 25th. The day you get back I have to go to school, that is if I get in. I wish school would start the 30th. But it doesnt. I find myself hoping I dont get in. But I started early and I dont want to fall behind, all the hard work I did to graduate 6 months early would be wasted.
My parents wont let me go to NOVA, for one last semester, to complete a full semester. I needed 12 credits in order to get into the University of Tennessee, but I only had 10. So now I am being forced to go to another community college. My parents dont want to let me go to VA. They dont facilitate anything for me. Life is so complicated because they make it that way.
No matter how hard they try to keep me here though, I will have to leave soon. Because the school in which I can aqcuire my specific major is in VA. So within a year they will have to accept that Im leaving. I wont give up my dreams and aspirations because they want me near, so they can watch me all the time.
I feel like Ive failed you again baby. Because this is the second time my plans to see you dont work out. I hope though, that you still believe me. That I am going to see you soon. I swear it baby. I have permission to travel now. When time cooperates with me, I'll be with you. Im so sorry I let you down. I know a relationship like ours isnt easy.
Why do I seem to write more when Im sad, than happy? I'll stop now. I just couldnt bring myself to calling you, and telling you again that I cant be with you. I love you baby.

L-eight-lee Newz! ;)

So what's been cookin'? Currently watchin "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie"... So far its pretty dumb, although its provokes a chuckle once in a while. OooOooH my baby just signed on!!! :D Well I guess I messed myself up this month. Im applyin for colleges late, I could have avoided late fees and stuff. What a waste of money... Oh well. Im not lettin this semester slip away. I CANT WAIT TO SEE MY BABY! (8) Im gonna see my baby! Im gonna see my baby! Omg Im so stinkin happy!!!! Can you tell? lol Just in time for our 1 year anniversary :D

I wish I were one of those happy kinds of girls.

There are things I see with such clarity,
Things I foresee that it seems nobody else does,
There are problems others know not how to solve,
And here I stay quiet, knowing the answers,
Here I stay silent, keep it all to myself.
There are days my silence burns through me,
Talking'd do me no justice, no good.
Days tears embody my silence.
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Wow I find myself depressing... Onto happier thoughts.....

I am a fake blond now! I am still adjusting to it, but i dont think it is as bad as this one time my mom dyed my hair blond when i was around 5 ;) lol. My bro goes to school on monday. Aww que lindo, he is a senior. My sister and I are spending quality time together. I really missed her. Im already sad she is leaving. I discovered which career I wanna pursue! Im am pursuing a Bachelor of Arts. Well... I have writers blog hehe. write later! Lots o love all!

random thought of the day...

maybe im just a little childish, hahaha....

getting sick

Good week so far, sister is over. Hair catastrophes, rain, aquariums, and relaxation. Im chilling and I feel happy for the most part. Im getting sick :S I feel blah right now. But I have to hide the health issues for now so I can go to VA on friday, I need to see mi honey very desperately. I MISS YOU. Well my fingers are getting tired, so I will continue writing in a while. Much love. bai

FINAFRIGGINLY!!!!

NO MORE SUMMER SCHOOL FOR MY BABY!!!!!!! Thank Goodness, I was really REALLY getting annoyed with all the little bitches on his bus! I have been waiting for this day hehe. I hope I can go over thurr next week, prayin that I can :) Then u can happily go to Florida, hope you all have fun :P
So anyway... Right now I look like a lamp shade, I have like 6 pounds of aluminum foil on my head; getting some highlighting done here en casa. My grandma used to be a cosmetology teach, and she hasnt forgotten how to make ppl beautiful.
My gosh, I feel incredibley fiesty now, hahaha, but happy at the same time. My sister is coming to visit us today from VA! "take me back with you Yadi!!!!!" *crosses her fingers.
Im bored right now, so I guess I will stop going on and on about nothing interesting and write later hehe. Bai bai frriendz!

why couldn't I dream of paradise once more tonight?

Dreams, the sweet ones I wish I never woke from... Inevitabley I do. Yet this night (only one of many nights I've wished for the return of my perfect dream) came unwelcome a nightmare I wish not to remember. And here I lay, frightened like a child, tears gracefully rolling down my cheeks, trying to soothe my longing to be held in warm loving arms and there, cry myself to sleep. This unwanted nightmare lingers here in my mind, and I panic, and try to avoid disturbing those I know rest peacefully as I cry. Trying to keep myself from reaching out to the light in this dull moment. I wish with all my might to be with you right now. Not say a word, just stay a while with you and forget the painful events that remain in my mind this instant. The events that felt so real, so vivid as I slept tonight... That when I woke so suddenly, left me feeling as if I'd never feel happy again. My eyes so tired, my mind racing.... Impossible it seems to find sleep again tonight.