Hello Month of Love

It's February 1st. After a nice farewell to January, I find myself melancholy and anxious for the good news of our baby's birth.

Last year, this month marked the end of my family as I'd known it for 21 years. This year, who knows...

We let go of Juno today. It's relieving to know she is with family, I know she will be well cared for and loved. Already I saw how good you were to her. It made me feel like maybe we were supposed to get her so she'd meet you. Like she's supposed to be with you.

But at the same time, I keep remembering the last time she looked at me with her little puppy eyes. The expression on her face made my heart hurt. Because my baby girl is far away now, with a new mommy. I will no longer get home and hear her tail wagging on the wall. Or hear her bark as I walk up the stairs into the apartment. She won't hug me as we walk, or put her paw on me as I rub her chest...

This is how I know I love that dog... Because I let her go. Another lesson in growing up.

Today I also say good bye to my Great Aunt... She was older than time I thought. She's been around so long I thought she'd never die... It was so unexpected for me. I haven't seen her in half a decade. But I remember growing up with her. How she called me her "negrita" and offered me coffee and cake. How she'd hug me and I'd always leave her house with 20 dollars, she said "so you can get yourself something nice and remember that I love you."

I didn't get to say good bye. She wasn't feeling well. I just hope that in heaven she is feeling better. Wearing her spanish dresses with fancy heals in all her glory. Maybe one day I'll see her again.

I'm just emotionally drained. Sad, but happy. I know everything is ok.

I was happy to see how happy my baby was too. We need to visit more often, I know he gets home sick. It was nice to see you guys laughing together, taking a break from daily life. Got lots of great pics in Mrs. I-Phone Terrazas, so I'll snag it in a while and post em :)

Anywho, just reflecting. Venting theraputically.

Good night.