As the days draw near, my mother and grandmother reveal to me their good intentions. They want us to be happy. They want to make sure it works out. I need to tell them at the same time to stop meddling in my relationship. I guess they are overly excited. But at the same time they are sort of driving me CRAZY lol.
They want to talk to your Mr. Dad. About what his thoughts are on this move. About how he feels about me and such. I think they want to make sure he is on the same page and that he understands that I am in an environment where I'm well cared for and that his son will enter the same environment.
We believe that relationships are the foundation of marriage. In other words, you don't date someone just because you can and then just leave someday because you saw someone interesting walk by... You are getting to know one another in order to someday get married.
They are very traditional people, and this is their first time doing something like this. It's all new to them and they want to make sure we do it right. They don't want for Mike to come here and suddenly just leave because he gets mad or something (though I told them they don't know him and he wouldn't do that.)
They are very supportive of our relationship and hope that we are successful together. They want me to treat him with respect and dignity... To change my housekeeping habits and learn to cook even better so that I can spoil him every chance I get. They want to know that he loves me and see the way he is with me.
I wanted to tell you what was going on of late so that you are as well informed as possible.
If you have any thoughts on this please tell. I'm nervous and anxious and want to be able to keep everything as open for discussion as possible. You could even call me if you have any questions or anything.
*signed- Me <3>
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2 comments:
i know you guys might be exited, scared and nervous all at the same time. my best advice is to first set the expectations..so there is no miscommunication or misunderstanding down the road. like if your parents expect you guys to go to school, or have him work, or contribute towards food and all that..not sure not the details on the living arrangements yet??
but at the same time, don't set the expectations too high! let things take its natural course..its going to take time to adjust on everyone's part. i know from moving away from home and my family more than once, mike will go through many phases..one will prolly be homsick, to be away from us...but all that is normal. also, living with family, its inevitable that everyone will have to put there two sense in about everything...remind them that you are both adults but don't forget as long as your living under thier roof, most likely you won't have much say in anything, lol.
don't let the opinions of feelings (negative) of others or even yourselves make you second guess the way you feel about each other.
let things happen with no pressure..you both are still young, and are still getting to know each other (believe it or not!)
i think it would be good for my dad to meet your family, that's why i want you guys to come over next sunday! i want to meet them too! but don't expect much communication from my dad, lol. he's very reserved, like me. he thinks allot of things but never says them out loud. but the feeling of wanting the best for everyone i'm sure is mutual..so i know things will work out.
you guys will be ok! don't worry..
When I moved in with Chris's family it was very similar in some aspects to your situation. We never really talked very seriously about marriage, though we knew that we loved each other...we were just trying to enjoy and get to know each other. We were forced to live with his parents because we had no where to go at that time. Well his family is very traditional, and they would push marriage and kids on us all the time. Especially his abuelita. I felt honored because this validated their feelings towards us - me...I knew that they thought I was a good woman, and nothing would make them more happier then to see both of us happy but again, they had the same values...if you love each other and you have been together for a long time now, what's the hesitation?? Everything went very fast. Chris and I knew that we loved each other that was always something we knew, but taking that step was very hard for both of us. We were scared, and had some doubts...and that usually means you are not ready. Like Vani said, you both are really young. Take time to soak this in, you are still learning about each other, and you both want to do what's right for you, not what's "right" in society's eyes or what's right to everyone else. Don't be pushed into something that will be an entire lifetime. Marriage can be the most wonderful, romantic union between two people who truly understand the committment and responsibility that comes with it. We made the plunge but I believe it would have done some good to really think about it. I didn't have my family there and that was also the biggest regret I took with me. It just wasn't altogether right. Make sure that the feeling is right, being a little scared is normal...but doubts are not. That means you are not ready. Both of you know how you feel, but again are still learning about each other. Like Vani said maintain that strong bond both of you have by communicating how you feel, and be honest with each other. I talked to Dad the other day, and he is thinking about it all. He has been for quite some time. It's not easy for him to see Mike go. He understands that it's something Mike has to do, but doesn't want to see him hurt. He's worried about Mike and how he will adjust and he's worried that things will not work out. But, again, this would be any parent. Honestly, no BS, I can see this being the hardest thing possible. Essentially you have to let your child be free, to the unknown. We have faith in both of you and believe you are doing this with very good intentions, but please, take your time. Make sure it's right. No matter what is said, in the end both of you are the ones that are going to have to make the biggest decision of your lifetime and live with it each and every day...no one else.
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