The day draws nearer and oh my, I'm extremely nervous! Mostly about the drive, hoping it goes safely, trying to get Mike's car in decent shape so he can travel safely too. Then about you meeting my parents. I've never done anything like this before, where my parents meet boyfriend's folks... So I'm just all jittery hehe... Guessing that's normal.
Well I want to go into more detail about how this is going to work...
Mike's got his own special apartment, in which he has a living room, bathroom, walk-in closet, garage, bedroom. He is welcome in all parts of the house, (except my room late at night- not allowed lol, same to me... I'm getting a curfew I believe lol.) He will not be required to pay any rent or fee, he will be as a member of the family. The only thing mom and dad ask is that he keep the area neat. They want him to be successful and wish for him to attend school. The only reason work is a necessity is because he has bills to pay, (car and insurance and such.) But his food and toiletries are covered and anything he needs he will be given.
As far as family "peer pressure" goes... The notion of marriage has been brought up. I admit that the idea made me happy, but I also acknowledge that there is a right time for everything. I have had a lot of time to think about the subject and hope that you are not alarmed once you read this.
Marriage is a big, life-changing step that two people take when they are both ready. This isn't the case now, as we are still young and I think we do need the opportunity to get to know one another and establish ourselves a little better. I don't want to be selfish and drag Mike into it. I want it to happen because we are both ready, because I don't see how it can work if I push him. I realize that my grandmother is pushing a bit for this to happen but I have let everyone know that now is not the time and that a relationship cannot work if only one person is taken into consideration. He's not even old enough to buy me a drink, and I barely am old enough LOL! So maybe someday this can be of consideration but not now. The day it happens I want both of our families to be there and I want it to be a happy day.
You're right though C - I do feel like because I have my family's blessing that it does validate their feelings towards us... It made me want to get married but they can't and will not be the reason behind my marriage, just because I can is not the right reason.
I just really want you to know that I will do my best to take care of him, make sure he is OK. To make sure he is happy and that he gets to see you guys as often as possible. And that on my part there is no rush on making anything move too quickly. I love Mike very much and I want to be able to share with you guys as my family too.
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2 comments:
dammit, there is so much i wanted to save for when you both were here in front of me...but then these blogs and i'm afraid i'll forget..lol
i just want to say..that wow, i'm glad that they are being so generous and welcoming him as part of the family. and i know you will..as you've been doing..take care of him. and i know mike appreciates it, even though he's like me when it comes to asking for help or oweing people. like he told me today.
i guess what i'm trying to say..specially to mike if he's reading this. we all want you to be successul..i know that you're going to go there and learn to become more of a man. remember that part of that is working hard and learning to provide for your own..because one day you it will be your full time job. so here comes the lecture, lol
make sure you clean your room..or the area ,lol. u know dad would always bitch about it but never made you. now youre going to be in someone else's house..i hope you can go to school and do well. i know z will be there to help you, but find it in yourself to study and do well and not play video games all day, lol
i hope school will be your first priority, but don't forget your other responsabilities. even though they have offered to help with food and stuff, dont let z pay for everything. part of becoming a good man...is being able to take care of yourself in all aspects..and one day your family too. its a learning process..in which you've already taken your first steps.
you were doing your laundry and cooking after mom left when you were little. you got a job and started paying bills at a young age too...you've done so much already on your own. i want you to keep going ok? just follow house rules and everything will be hunky dorey. even tho at times it will suck, it's still much better than being out there trying to survive on your own...in which cleaning your room will be the least of your problems, lol
i love you guys. can't wait for what the future will bring...one day i do picture you guys together, living happily with a bunch of labs and a bunch of babies (i cant wait to see mikeys babies, lol)in a huge house...cuz mike will be a creator of a new video game better that WoW, lol i know everything will work out fine.
It's very normal to feel nervous. It's a life changing event. Anything worth doing is going to be a challenge too. At times things may get difficult, but remember communicate and be honest with each other. I have full confidence that any family so open as to open their home to someone has a huge heart and are very caring people...that I find as being a true blessing in itself.
I have full confidence and trust that both of you are not going to take advantage of this and really appreciate it. Don't forget to sometimes take a break from each other and give each other space too, that is important. When you have something all the time you kind of don't appreciate it so much. Chris and I spent every waking moment with each other, and neglected other things that were important in our lives.
Your parents/family are there for you. You may not have to go them for everything, but honesty with them is essential too. They are wise to problems that can occur at work or school, but just don't shut them out because that's when they freak and start assuming things.
I have full confidence that both of you will respect the house rules. Those are important because it shows respect to the family. That's all they want in return, just some appreciation and respect. Please do not hesitate to call if you all need anything. To talk, some help, anything...please keep us in the loop of how things are going too. We are going to be thinking about you practically every day, just want to know that everything is ok.
Please motivate each other. School is so important, and one of the greatest accomplishments of your young life. I never got to do it, and I am trying to speed up now to finish because it's so much harder out there without a degree.
Of course you are going to enjoy being together that's a given, live those moments to the fullest.
I am confident that you both are thoughtful and compassionate and respectful of the other's feelings, that is really important too. One small misunderstanding can lead to worse things. Communication being essential, honesty paves the road for trust in a relationship too.
I have so much confidence in the both of you I feel silly for even repeating these things, but I guess it's just making me feel better. hahah.
It sounds like Z's parents understand that Mike will need some independence too, which is really cool. They have such a thoughtful set up for him, it makes me feel very grateful towards them as well.
I really can't think of anything else, it's been covered tonight. :0)
I really believe in my heart that this will be a positive experience for the both of you and you will grow so much from it. Living together is a big step! But, you both have proved how serious you are about each other time and time again.
We will be visiting too. Want to make sure your ok and that everything is copasetic in your new enviroment.
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