venting

He is afraid to be let down... To have his hopes raised and then dropped down because someone who promised something let him down...

I get so frustrated sometimes. How is it that I have all this stuff, everything has come to me. And he has to fight so hard for these things. Things that I just realized, I take for granted most of the time.

What am I talking about? The xbox on my TV, I didn't pay for that. A room with my own bathroom. I didn't pay for that. The car I got in 2004... It came so easily to me. The college education dad is paying for, the one sometimes I feel I'd like to give up on... IT HAS ALL BEEN GIVEN TO ME.

And it frustrates me to a point so painful that he hasn't gotten half of what I have. He has everything he needs right now... A home, and food, and he is ok... He has so many people that love him and care for him... He is rich in that sense. But what about tomorrow. Where are his tools for a better tomorrow? He has to work his ass of in order to inch his way to getting these things, all alone. And I know he is worried about these things.

I was so excited. For once, he was going to get a car... The one that was taken to repair, he'd been watching the arrival of a part for that car eagerly, cuz it meant he'd have a car... And a car meant he could get a better job and drive to work, and earn more money, so he could pay for college little by little.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO. Apparently the plans for that car have been changed for some reason... To what? No idea... And he's left once again with very little time to earn a lot of money for a car and then school, and no transportation in order to get to work. That car, was supposed to be his... And this kind of thing keeps happening to him. He tells me, "guess what, I'm getting a car!" a while later, "no not getting it anymore." It always happens... Something always gets in the way! Why?

I wish I could help him. I know he feels alone... Having to fend for himself in order to get somewhere in life. Life is hard I know. Many people don't have it as simple as I do. But I wish I could help. I wish I could do something... It irritates me that I have someone driving me to success for me... And he doesn't have that. What can I do?