Life and Time

I've plunged into instability, a continent of quicksand, where slowly I sink to the finite moments of my life, or so it seems. I'm paralyzed by the ticking of time, a bitter nemesis that grows fonder of my tears with each minute gone by. Go ahead then, if you must wash me down with a glass of your finest wine, indulge in my misery, in my yearnings never met, in my anguish now unsettled. Laugh it off with your greatest companion and watch me squirm and fight the pain with all my might. I grow restless, foreign to myself. I'm swelling as I soak in each drop of blood, each ounce of sadness shed by those so dependent on a strength I really do not hold. So tempted, I'd like to throw in the towel, just give up on myself in times like these. It's too hard when I feel so alone. Well pass the wine fetch another bottle, I too would like to drown my troubles away. I too would like to forget the teaming masses that depend on me. If only you were more merciful, but no, you both work together to puncture me. So fast the pendulum swings when I wish it would stop, and too slow when I need it to hasten up.

And then I wonder if maybe you've nothing to do with it, and if I'm the only one inflicting pain and weighing down my bit of paradise. Perhaps I trigger the bitterness, and each salty tear my love and I have shed is my own doing. And the quicksand aims to suffocate me, I'm swimming in a tar so heavy and I feel my lungs collapse. Tired as I may be, I will go on to challenge the routes of my insanity, I'll continue breathing and my heart beating. I've so much more to fight for, so much to lose. Surrender is not an option, not at this juncture, I must keep my life afloat. I love him too much.