Journeys

A hundred miles per hour, amazing freedom, you and I on a road all to ourselves. Where are we going? To the moon, a wistful destiny our hearts chose without consultation. Your presence makes me indestructible. On we go, each turn I make following the lead of your glances. Faster than the falling stars above, we speed past a million worlds in search of our very own. And suddenly I look ahead, anticipation taking over me, though I don't realize it's mine alone. I look back over and you're no longer to my right, an empty passenger's seat now, I'm down to fifty. I'm on the highway all alone, and on the lane beside me, you keep up but beside another. A race no one can win, how can I win when I'm missing half of me, half of you? How can she pass me by when she'll never have all of you, when she doesn't even know what it means to have someone as beautiful as you by her side? Still, no sign of return, beside me the shadow of constant betrayal to my heart. Perhaps I should let it be, forfit this agonizing competition for a heart I've fought so hard to keep, a heart I shouldn't have to fight so hard for, for it belongs already to me. Day after day you show me you've chosen another, and in my heart I've wondered if I should let you go, stop trying to persuade your mind to agree with your heart. My attempts have only been futile, and each time you withdraw further from me. I've thought of a billion ways to recover us... But day after day I watch as she glances in other directions and manipulates you... I watch you look over at me, not even trying to desert the passenger's seat of an undeserving someone. Perhaps I need to gather strength in myself to give it up. Nothing's changed in so long, this race has made me hurt and tired. And the question that haunts us both possesses me, "what if" he never comes back? What if I give up and I lose him? Maybe I've tried to handle this the wrong way. It's hard to tell wrong from right anymore. Your absence left me in the dark baby, now I feel lost too. And the only certainties left in me... I miss you with all that I am. I love you always. And if you ever choose me again, I'll be here, loving you no different than before.