Un Año Que Viene, y Otro Que Se Va

I've been too lazy to post. Well maybe between spending time with the Aunt J., Crystal and Steven, and maintaining some version of my regular routine, I just haven't been able to do the little things I like to do.

I feel so nervous each time one year ends and a new one begins. I'm hoping everything goes well next year, for everyone. I'm hoping I do better as a daughter, and as a girlfriend, so I can make the people I love happy and take care of them.

Yes, as you can tell I have many hopes for the coming year [I have many more than that lol but we'll take it a little at a time huh ;)]

This year so much has happened. A total of 17 days with my baby who is now in college :D , a raise of my GPA, a beginning of a relationship between my cousin Crystal and I (these things take time, we've never been close, but I've always been sad that we've never been friends before. Got a new puppy, a new bedroom set.

Thank you God, for a break. For all of your help. For all of the blessings you've bestowed upon me. Please bless those who've lent a helping hand and who need a break too.

Happy New Year everyone!

MY HOME

This is the greatest Christmas in the history of my life. I am quite emotional right now, so much so that I can't write very well. So here are a few thousand words worth of memories for now.

I Believe In Love

I now understand what is meant when people tell you to get to know and understand your partner's values and beliefs. So many people are shocked by new things they learn about their loved ones after rushing into marriage. It's scary to think about it, about the conflicts that can spring from a simple difference in values.

Because I feel like in my chest there is a cluster of unresolved mystique and emotion, I have to write tonight. I thought I had it all figured out, the subject of friends. I had come to realize that there was no such thing, or at least this type of relationship is rare. I had come to see that I didn't need a superficial relationship with another being to fill a void in me. That I didn't need to spend time with people who in the big scheme of things feel nothing for me, but use me to fill a void of their own. That sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company. That there is only one person in my life I can call my friend, and that I needed no other companion. That one person is enough for me. I thought that everyone in the end, sought for that, the same as me, "one true and meaningful friendship." A friendship people search their whole lives for, like a needle in a haystack. And thank God, I've found it in the maze of my life.

I'd never put any "friend" before him. I'd never befriend anyone who's ambitions in the past were of harmful consequence to him. I'd never allow anyone to speak of him in a manner inadequate. My friendship with him is a part of me I treasure with every bit of my life.

I'd do anything to show you my faith and devotion. I've tried my best to do that throughout our years together. Above all I've tried to show you that your feelings matter to me, your concerns matter, and that's what I want. I don't know if my views are immature or if we are supposed to establish empty relationships with those who surround us... I don't know if I'm wrong or right, I'm not trying to know it all. I'm just showing you my values and hoping you show me yours too.

One day you will see how NOT alone you are. How even though there is a lot going on with your family and you don't see them as much as you'd like, they are ALWAYS there. Always thinking of you and always loving you. I am so thankful for that. So thankful to them.

And I hope when you look back on our time apart, one day even if it is when we are not anymore, you realize that I was with you the entire time.