A lot of Writing... Well a lot of rambling too...

I am having one of those moments where there is nothing to do, there is so much on my mind, and I cant seem to put it down in writing. What the hell am I doing up at 2:30 in the morning.... Who knows....

So let me see if I can write because, I feel like I need to in order to get drowsy lol.

I have been really into decorating and home improvement lately. I watch cooking shows, home and garden shows, I go to Home Depot and Linen's n Things.... And what has come out of it. A renovation of the second floor of the house. The floor that belongs exclusively to the young adults lol. After much debating, we have painted our accent wall in red, and the walls around it in a light peachy color. It may sound weird, but oddly enough it looks divine. I am in the process of painting my room now... Im thinkin beige with accents in the linens.

Surprisingly, my sister and I are getting along very well now. I had a talk with her a while ago. She said she was grouchy for no reason... So I became her voice of reason and said "You moved here by your own will, and nobody in this house deserves your attitude and nasty behavior." What a dramatic change after that moment. She is sweet and cute and loveable once again. We do lots together now. We still have our rough moments, but lets face it, there is no such thing as a "Leave it to Beaver" kind of family relationship LOL No one is perfect.

Mom got pissed at Yadi again. They have never really gotten along unless they are far apart. Mom has become really sensitve. She thinks we criticize her all the time.... I dont understand what we do to make her feel like she is a bad mom. God knows we try to make her feel special. We must not forget tho that mom will always be just a little bit ill emotionally.

Mom and dad have always called me "Mother Hen". They say it is because I am always defending Yadi and Jorge from them. So when mom got mad at Yadi, I went and talked to mom and dad for hours for my sister, and got her off the hook.

My family is so broken. My sister thinks that life should be lived in a certain way and imposes her beliefs on everyone around her. She tells mom what to do, tells dad that he shouldnt let mom do whatever she wants to do and walk all over him (Yadi thinks thats what happens, but I think that he just wants mom to be happy and lets her indulge in the things she loves the most no matter what it is... Eating too many sweets, eating breakfast lunch and dinner in bed whenever she wants, spending money on things we never use lol, letting things be done her way all the time so she will feel heard and valued.)...

My brother stays in his room all day, has an argument for just about everything, and has isolated himself from the rest of us. He does nothing around the house unless he is told. He also thinks life should be a certain way and forces his view on other people.

My mom and dad are on the same page those two. They do not seem to understand us and dont try to. It pushes us apart.

And I dont know why I cant be close to mom, I try but being near her makes me nervous. I guess I am ashamed of myself, because of things we have been through. She always tries to reach out to me and I run from her. I cant face her. I dont think I will ever be able to. I cant seem to understand her. The way she thinks. We are so alike yet so different.

Dad I am close to, but then he never tried to pierce the wall that keeps me from talking about things that happened. He will never try either. He leaves it all to mom. I talk to him alot, but disagree on so much that he says.

My sis tells me I am not a worldly person. That I am immature, insecure.... That I have shut myself away from others. That I am not flexible. That I am not capable of fending for myself. That I put too much faith in our relationship. That I should believe it wont last. I think she is immature, and closed minded. I love Mike, and she doesnt understand love. She has never been in love. I asked her why she dated that guy, and her answer was "I dont know. I feel sorry for him."

Jorge is just detached from us all....

I hope and pray that some day soon we can become unified again and work things out. These things take time I guess.

On a good note... Jorge is no longer in High school. He still needs to take the ACT tho. I have been admitted into the University of Tennessee here in Chatt Town (one of the US's top 50 universities!) And finally.... I AM SLEEPY! lol,

Good night guys! Enjoy the rest of your weekend :)

<3>

ANNOYANCES

So I am very incredibley irritated. With who? MY SISTER. She is so f*ing bitchy.

How so... She comes into my room, and says

-I dont like how that shirt looks on you, change it.
-Why do you talk bad stuff about jorge's gf to mom and dad, its your fault they dont like her.
-You annoy me.
-I hate your hair
-I hate your make up


Ok... So why does this irritate me.

-I ask her any little question and she gets pissed off.
-Jorge screwed his gf's image up all by himself, after lying about her several times. I didnt do it, he buried himself. Besides, I know that girl is coming over here with other motives. Not just to see him, but I have a feeling that she is pregnant or something and is trying to pin it on my bro. No way in hell am I leaving them alone together. I will be on her like white on rice, because I am not letting her do something stupid like that to MY little brother. It pisses me off that yadi has not grown up with jorge like I have and she thinks she knows it all. I have been protecting him all his life.
-Today I simply told her that the shirt she was wearing made her look flat, and she got bitchy and told me that she hates my hair. You know what, if a person cant listen to an opinion, or take the truth then they're gonna have lots of problems in life. She cannot take the slightest bit of critisism, but can criticize everyone else til she turns blue. What the hell is that.
-She chose to move here. If she is going through changes now, she has to get the F over it. Because I told her not to come here. I told her it wouldnt be the same. That she would want her independence and she would feel smothered. So she has to pipe the F down and stop being so grouchy.
-She is under the impression that my mom is a monster. Well believe it or not, mom has gotten better. And she has not done anything to hurt yadi for the longest time. If she told yadi that she couldnt make it on her own, its because its true. She has FAILED 3 semesters in a row of college. She has now been in college for 5 years. She was gonna end up marryin this loser she was seeing and being miserable. Because let me tell you, terry is a shmuk.

In short, I cant stand her right now. I cant. She has become an ass!

I have not done anything to her, yet she blames me for all this other bull. I am not even going to go into it, because sincerely, my blood pressure goes up. All I can say is that she moved here on her own will. She chose this and now she needs to deal with it and stop getting on my case!

AMEN

Progress :)

Guess what you guys! I am so relieved and happy :) I found out my grades today. After weeks of thinking that I had 2 Ds, a C, and a B, I finally discovered my true grades. You were right V- I did fine :) Not as good as I wanted to, but atleast I know I did not waste thousands of dollars on failing classes. Now I can really take a breather =0D~ My grades are as follows:

Art Appreciation-B (3 credits)
Contemporary Mathematics-B (3 credits)
Introduction to Humanities-C (3 credits)
Cultural Anthropology-C (3 credits)

This means, that I am a sophomore now, with a whopping 30 credits :) 102 left for my bachelors of arts!

Now I have not a doubt that The University of Tennessee will admit me into the school. In the near future I will graduate and get a job, and maybe minor in something else. I dunno, maybe I will try to minor as a Vet.

My sister moved over here yesterday. She is happy, and my family. Its nice to have her back. She has gotten sooooo heavy tho. She is such a beautiful person and is ruinning herself by eating crap like McDonalds all the time. She is going on a diet with me now lol, whether she likes it or not MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Its a gloomy sunday here in TN.... The kind of day good for sleeping and zonking out infront of a tv. But my grades and a nice pepsi have got me wired up, lol so sleeping is out of the question.

I hope you guys had a great day :) Take care!

Midget out---

Thursday morning delirious bliss

Its over... yep, after all that... its over.... AND I COULDNT BE HAPPIER! BUH BAI spring 06, hello summer vacation! No more teachers lookin at me like demons everytime Im late, no grades, no stress, no waking up at 7... Nope, its all gone! Worried about the grades tho... How could I slack this much sheesh. Hopefully my finals came out ok... I guess since I came into this semester thinking it would be a piece of cake I relaxed a bit too much in the beginning, consequently making me tense at the end...............

Now onto working, chilling, and exercise! Thats right, I got a whoppin 25 pounds to lose ppl! lol.... I love cake a bit too much.... The way I figure, I can eat the cake, but I HAVE to do exercise, because obviously my eat cake and watch TV routine isnt helpin me destroy the love handles hehe... WOW.

Well, Buddy is gone. A golden retriever pup we found in our back yard on saturday... He had to be about 6 months old, 80 pounds; big, cute, and extremely sweet. He stayed til Wednesday, we called him buddy, but his real name is Rosco. We found his owners and I was told they were thrilled with his return home. I miss him though, I got attached to him. I wanted to keep him, despite the fact that he peed a puddle in my room the size of europe lol. Roger hated him..... But oh well he is gone now, I have pics of him I just need to save em on my comp so I can post em....

Mommy and daddy have now been married for 25 years. Thats a long time right?! Dad was like a teen boy excited, as if she were his first girlfriend and he wanted to spoil her and treat her, and make her feel loved, and like a queen. He kidnapped me and we went shopping for diamonds. Yep, dad is head over heals... I hope thats how it is for me when I get married. I hope that after 25 years, the excitement and romance is still alive and kickin' :) We got her a necklace, (she has tons of rings and bracelets she doesnt use already). White gold, with a heart pendant with diamonds. Dad didnt care how much it cost, he wanted to buy her the best he could get :) He giggled like a little boy on the way home, he told me "this I give her from my heart." Hehe, dad is so cute! lol.

So my sis is movin over here tomorrow. :( been 4 months since I saw my baby... Its really wierd how thinking about him all day makes me feel like he is with me all the time, but then I miss actually BEING THERE... I dunno... I have to think of some way... where there's a will, there's a way right? Yadi has changed so much... I am glad she is near now, but I am scared that she is very different now. Not the same sister I was so close to before. Im probably just worrying too much.

Well, thats it for now....

PS- Happy birthday to Hailey! :)